Humans Are All Insane

Where is our place in the world? Where is our place in spirituality? Is there really a spiritual realm that we can really go too? What about the creatures that evolved before us? Sometimes I ask all these questions, always with a question mark at the end. To try to understand is almost futile.

To us we see God as this supreme being who is righteous in everything he does, but really what makes him so righteous? Does he not feel anger and jealousy? Did he not say not to idolize? That shows jealousy, yet when he tells us not to be jealous, we are sinning, but he is of course right! We were made in his image, so of course do we not feel the same emotions? Yet in the end we are punished. God has killed many, he's justified all his deaths, and till this day, God lets millions die everyday, who's fault is it really? The Devils? If God wanted too, he could restore immortality to us. Yet everyday goes by exactly the same, for millions of years, it has been this way.

After learning about Natural Selection, I've come to believe less and less in God, evolution actually makes a lot of sense. All the creatures that were able to adapt lived longer and evolved due to that gene, such as a bird, who is born with a pointy beak instead of a rounded one, was able to pick food out of a tree hole better than the others, and it passed it's gene to another who also inherited the same beak. Same can be said for the breeding, and how many offspring they laid. Till this day insects, amphibians, and reptiles have survived, all of which have been living a very long time, because they were able to adapt. Mankind has evolved and created it's own adaptation, so that we do not have to struggle with the wildlife, or the natural diseases that come our way, scientists have said there are diseases that can go right outside the bounds by one step and destroy many. We have created mechanisms that require two hands and two legs, hearing and sight, what if the world changes and those become useless? The planet is slowly moving towards the extinction of many living creatures. Maybe Jesus saw that, maybe he saw that the world would eventually destroy those creatures again. Same with happened to the dinosaurs, and the amphibians before them, eventually the weather changed, there were more earthquakes, droughts, or over flooding. What we are experiencing in life today is not the beginning of Armageddon. It may be the beginning of our extinction.

I can't blame anyone who truly believes in God, ever, and I think the people who are lonely, need him, he's a make believe friend. A friend that no matter what at night when someone feels completely and utterly alone because everyone has abandoned her/him there is someone who hasn't. As my mother used to tell us, "It feels like someone is listening." Sometimes that's all people want, in the world, is someone to listen to them, they don't care, if you agree or disagree, sometimes they may be talking rash, and pretty much just a bunch of shit is coming out of their mouth, if you disagree the person may even love you more, because you acknowledged that person.

So what can I say about a spiritual world? I think you create your own, your own little haven where you can go to when you have nothing left. When the world has stuck it's fangs in you and drank your blood dry. To me my spiritual place is home, I always feel safe at home, playing Xbox 360 with a good friend, his wife, and his dad, to me that's spiritual, I am safe. It's my lair. Even if it's just to watch a movie by myself, or a good anime. To me my bed, is my resting place, I always want it to be my safety. This is bad and good at the same time, because I may stay out of trouble, but I never venture into the world, it's my own little shell, but what if you grew up that way and you really don't mind having a good job, a wife and a kid, with a good friend or two. Why does life have to be more complicated than that.

Sometimes I feel guilt over stupid things and not everyone really knows why I give it so much thought, it is because I am usually always observing things that I wish I did not observe, I try to be different, but in the end I'm not. I am a hypocrite like every other human being on this planet. I try my utmost best to tell the world, look at me, I am kind and loving, and wouldn't hurt a soul, but to be honest, I would destroy a soul if they messed with my family. So how can I say I am good when I obviously am not? How can I preach to someone to do what is just and turn around and do the very thing I told them not too? All I can do is hold my head up and take responsibility for my actions. It's the way it should always have been. But you know all the things that have happened to me, I appreciate because I don't take those things for granted anymore. For a long time, I hated the thought that everyone who met me or spoke to me saw me as innocent, I didn't want to be innocent, I didn't want to be good, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted girls to think I was the bad boy, not the "Oh he's such a good friend", but you know what, I have to say? FUCK YOU! I choose to be good, call me your friend, I will be your friend no problem! Don't sleep with me because you're afraid to ruin our friendship! (Even though I know that this is just another way of saying "I'm just not into you sorry." Lol) I'm ok with that, one day I will find someone special, who will love me for being good, not because I can rob a bank or disobey street signs. And will actually want to spend their life with me and have kids with me, because of true love. Until that day, I will wander alone, not searching, not with expectations, if that day never comes, maybe I will be reincarnated in another life (This will definitely be a topic of my next blog entry so stay tuned for that.) where I will have better. Or who knows maybe I will just rot in the ground, at least I know it will be peaceful. "Life is a bitch and then you die." - Kyle Snook.

All humans are insane, thanks for reading the Mind of a Psychopath